Be sure and eat your greens

Sigh.  What a day I had today!  Did I tell you I’m retiring?  Can it come soon enough?  I don’t think so.

I often describe my job by saying “I put out fires.”  Lately, I’ve been dealing with a major conflagration.  I took time off over the holidays (read:  mistake), one of my faculty decided not to teach Winter term, but could not decide until noon on December 30 (nightmare), I needed to hire a new faculty member, a graduate teaching fellow decided not to return for Winter term (I had to hire two people to replace him), the travel office decided to ask me for a travel document for audit just as I was leaving for the holidays (it was not due to their office until shortly before I returned from the holidays — can we say “impossible”?), most of my faculty (and graduate teaching fellows) attended the meetings of the Allied Social Science Association in Denver January 6-9, 2011 (this means they want to be reimbursed for their travels), a colleague of a couple of my faculty decided he would like to pay us a visit from April 1 through August 1, but needs a visa from the United Kingdom yesterday, the Summer Session budget needs to be in NOW, and the catalog copy for the 2011-2012 General Bulletin needed to be in by the 20th, and I’m trying to submit my retirement paperwork.  OY!

So, I arrive at the office this morning, planning to lock myself in my office and generate form after form, payroll paperwork, travel paperwork, catalog copy, pay bills, etc.  Unfortunately, I arrive to find the message light glaring on my phone.  Both of my secretaries are ill.  Stomach flu of some kind.  Trust me, I’m glad they are not there. . .I don’t want to catch it, but DAMN!  So, the handy helper arrives to install the replacement projector screen in the conference room.  He opens the box to find the screen has been damaged in shipping.  ACK!  He hangs the external mail slot (our campus mailman doesn’t like to wait for us to open from lunch [along with half the departments in the building] during the noon hour) and leaves the ticket open to replace the screen when I get the new one from Staples (thankfully, the return process from Staples rates a “that was easy” button).  I post a sign on the door saying the office is closed, but if they really need someone, they can see Linda in room 431.  Knocks on the door ALL.DAY.LONG.  ACCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!

So, tonight I am eating my greens for dinner.  They are, coincidentally, swimming in a small sea of vodka:

I used to drink a lot.  I rarely drink anymore.  However, today requires a bit of relaxation.  Did I mention I now need to work tomorrow?  Damn.  Retirement cannot come soon enough.  So, eat your greens.  If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.