Linda M. Stupid

Did you ever have one of those days where you’re having a pity party for one?  And, on top of it all, you know that it’s totally stupid? I just woke up feeling sort of blue this morning.  Not really any particular reason, except that I’m possibly lonely.  Days have been so full of people — family, friends and colleagues lately — and now it’s just me, the dog, and the kitties.  I just feel kind of blah.  So, what do I decide to do?  Something incredibly stupid.  I made some tart cherry and dark chocolate chip scones.  Most of you are thinking this sounds totally reasonable.  Well, I have severe reactive hypoglycemia and I’m not supposed to eat refined carbohydrates.  I know this.  I know they make me severely sick.  But, unlike Pavlov’s dogs, I’m just not that smart.  I’m having a pity party, remember?  So I made the scones.  OMG – they are so good.  So good, in fact, I ate two of them.  Well, they are small.  But, as I could have told you, I got very, very sick.  I am physically unable to vomit.  Sometimes this is not a good thing.  It causes prolonged suffering.  Once I got done with the sweating, the shaking, and the writhing in pain (during which I was, of course, chastising myself repeatedly for eating the stupid things), I got my blood sugar back up to a reasonably normal range, and then took a three hour nap.  I then got up, walked into the kitchen and dumped the rest of the scones into the trash.  I must admit, it’s been since way before Thanksgiving (I think) since I last ate something so awful.  I know better, but something in the back of my brain still tells me that is comfort food.  My stomach is still jumping up and down, claiming victory in the battle, telling my brain that it warned it way ahead of time — it knew there would be big trouble.  Ah well.  Some day, the brain will listen.  Now to get the stomach to cool it with the victory celebration!

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6 thoughts on “Linda M. Stupid

  1. Linda. Linda. Linda. I hear ya. You poor thing. I don’t know why, but I do this too. I eat things I know will hurt later, but I sometimes think, ‘just this once’ won’t hurt me. Then it does and yet, I do it again and again. Why oh why?

    I wish food and emotions were not so profoundly linked, but they are. And we make ourselves suffer for it.

    Thank you for sharing and writing about this. I needed to hear it.

    Hugs to you.

    • I’m so glad I’m not the only one who does things like this. Hopefully, I made myself miserable enough that I won’t do it again for a very long time. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.

  2. I’m a long time member of the stupid club, too. I can’t eat most raw fruit without my mouth burning and my eyes and ears itching so. But how can I say no to a juicy peach or an apple dipped in Carmel? And fruit is supposed to be good for you, isn’t it? I could do worse.

    • Oh wow. That would be awful to be allergic to something that is actually natural and good for you. I’m lucky that I can eat most fruits and vegetables. I can’t handle bananas — too much sugar – but most berries are fine. I wonder what people did back in the dark ages. Probably quietly crawled away and died. Of course, I wonder how they got by with out glasses, allergy meds, etc. Even with our woes, life is pretty darn good!

  3. Oh no! I hope you are feeling better!? I would be in trouble if I had that problem! I have enough trouble with my little stomach problem with apples, which I every once in awhile eat anyways…..

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