Doggie Facebook

I’ve now recovered sufficiently from my Thursday night fall, that Ozzie and I are back to our 3-milers again.  I don’t know how many of my readers have dogs, and of those, I’m not sure how many of you have male dogs, but having a male dog has taught me a lot about dogs and males in general.  Sidewalks are Doggie Facebook.  We start our walk on my street (of course) which is a rather busy straight-shot north to south route through town.  We head for the little park that is about 10 blocks from my house, not because we intend to play in the park, but Ozzie will generally present me with a gift within about five blocks of home, so we stop there to deposit said gift in the trash can.  Since we take the main road for most of this route, we observe the male dog (and male in general) curse of nature.  They must always sniff.  We have all heard that attraction is in the smell.  There are many trees in Eugene, and Ozzie generally has to stop and sniff each one to see who has posted for the day.  Some trees deserve a mere glance.  The heightened dog sense of smell indicates there’s something there, but nah, let’s pass it by.  The next tree (or rock, or bush, or patch of grass) may merit a thorough sniffing (click ‘like’), and then another may be so enticing as to merit a dousing in what I suspect is more dog pheromone than pee (definite ‘comment’).  By the time we start our Facebook journey in earnest, he’s already peed at least three times and there can’t possibly anything left in there!  Once we get to the park, we take the back streets through the neighborhood.  We have lots of streets that do not go all the way through to the main drags around here, and they are quiet and have very little traffic.  Here, we walk in the street.  The end of the Facebook postings for the day.  Our pace quickens and we can finish our three miles in record time instead of dawdling along the way.  When I first discovered Facebook, it seemed so exciting.  I could find old friends — in fact, I’ve reconnected with some good friends from college and one from high school –but it quickly became apparent that old boyfriends were to be avoided at all costs.  Those of you who have found good, kind, maybe even funny, dependable men, count your blessings.  I appear to have been sprayed with a healthy dose of good-man repellent since the day I was born.  Now my Facebook experience is more like the end of our walks.  I stop by from a distance, see what friends are doing but don’t need to get too close-up and personal, and I don’t need to spend all day sniffing.  Next time, my dog will be a female!


14 thoughts on “Doggie Facebook

  1. LOL the Facebook reference, but be forewarned, females aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Cocoa, today alone, has destroyed 1 man’s slipper, 1 man’s rubber outdoor boot, 2 shoeslaces on the female’s sneakers, 1 yarn skein label AND to top it all off she got the alpha female’s knitting back and chewed it up. Thankfully avoiding chewing on the in progress lacework shawl that was in it…………. sigh…………….

    • Wow! I guess in that respect, I’m lucky. Ozzie’s never been much of a chewer. I gave him an old pair of my slippers when he was a pup and he knows those are his. He still has some of his little puppy toys, the only thing he chews up on a regular basis is his gorilla from Petsmart that makes the most horrendous noise. He loves that thing. I think we’re now on gorilla number 4!

    • Thanks Diana. I should have mentioned that women sniff too, but cautiously. Most men smell sweaty and gross till one comes along and you think, “hey, that’s not too bad, in fact, it’s kind of . . .” Well, let’s not go there. Women need a bit more intrigue and a little more attraction than smell. Some guys just can’t leave it alone!

  2. Too funny Linda! So true though. I have never been a fan of the male dog and that would be one of the reasons. I groom an elderly friends little poodle and he is always very very happy to see me (if you know what I mean). Yuk!I
    love my girl doggies and never had any of the ‘bitchiness’ that some people don’t like about the girl dogs. I walk Lola with my friend and her female golden retriever three mornings a week – we do 5km too – and they just walk along with us. Lola is such a lady she refuses to pee or poo at all on our walks – makes it easy. She is so private, she hides behind out big tree to go potty at home. When she spent the day at the vets having surgery recently, I warned them that she would not pee on lead. And she didn’t either. She really had to go as soon as we got home, LOL.

    Glad you are feeling better from your fall.

    • Ozzie has his spot in the backyard too, and I’m thankful it’s not all over, but no matter how many times I let him out in the morning, somewhere between 21st and 23rd street, he has to go. I really enjoy the walk once we get to the back streets.

  3. Very accurate and funny Linda! I have one of each, and they are backwards! Maya loves to sniff when we walk and she pees about 10 times!! The vet told me that was an older female dog trait. Then, we have Zeke, who does his business and that’s that! Funny huh? Gotta love them no matter what!

  4. Linda, your facebook analogy is very funny and clever. At least Ozzie is consistant and you know what to expect (and where LOL). I highly recommend a book I am reading now, it is “Inside Of A Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know” by Alexandra Horowitz. What could be a dry scientific book, is written in an extremely readable manner. She also has a great sense of humor, and love of dogs. One thing that she says is that while our world is very visual, the dog’s is based on smells. It is how he “sees” the world, and understands it and us. It is really amazing what all they get from the scent left behind.

    • Thanks for the tip on the book! It sounds like something I would really enjoy, and I would (at times) love to know what’s going on in Ozzie’s head. He is, at times, way to smart for me. He makes up his mind about something, and you can see in his eyes that it will be his way or the highway. Just a gleam of determination that I know means he will not obey until he’s done! ;p

  5. I love your analogy!! It makes so much sense…especially being the dog person that I am!! When my now Ex would come home from his business trips I would tease him that he was like a Tom cat that had returned home. He would circle through every room checking to make sure nothing had changed and comment on anything that did! Drove me nuts! Thank you for the chuckle!

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